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The body keeps score

Would you believe me if I told you I didn’t eat my favorite bread for 6 months? Pushing the shopping cart down the bread aisle and avoiding eye contact with the bread;)

The bread I used almost daily. While I was married, in that house, with that job, my person, and a completely different life that used to be mine.

It was a silly thing, but it was a reminder.

Because if I saw it in my home or used it to make my famous grilled cheese, I’d be taken back to that time. I would avoid all of the reminders, for a long time.

My body was sending off warning signals.

You know that one scene in the movie inside out where anger pushes the big red levers and everyone goes crazy and has no idea what to do? That’s what it felt like 

I fought so hard to get out of that situation and the last thing I wanted was reminders. The brain holds onto things when we’re going through a difficult time, it pulls emotions, images, smells, sounds and it keeps it buried.

Your body loves you. It’s natural instinct is to keep you out of danger. So when I’m reminded of a scary or heartbreaking time in my life after hearing a song or driving through the town I used to live in, I need to give myself more love.

Your feelings are REAL. But the story your mind tells you is not. Our minds cannot tell the difference between reality and fiction. I wouldn’t be taken back to that time, I wouldn’t be back right where I used to be if I saw that bread in my home. But because my mind only knows what I have lived and experienced, it pulls from that.

It would be incredibly difficult to be taken back to a hard time. But the good news is you don’t have to be.

And it’s okay when you do. Triggers show us what needs to heal 

It’s incredibly hard

It’s beautiful 

Did I mention hard??

Focus on healing, feeling your emotions, and learning from them.

But all of this got me thinking, how can I capture more of the good?

That is what “Kore Memories” is all about.

Creating and navigating core memories and using it to create the life you’ve always wanted.

The other day a song played in the car that I hadn’t heard for a while. I was telling my little sister how I used to listen to this song when I was her age. I continued to play all my old playlists and forced her to listen to them with me;) 

I didn’t even really like high school, but it was a memory of innocence, excitement, and friends. 

Everyone was on their own journey, but we were together.

I wish I could go back for one day, soak it all in.

I love the songs that remind me of my childhood. It helps me appreciate where I’m at now.

Because someday I’m going to be driving home

Kids sleeping in the car, sitting next to the love of my life

And a song is going to come on 

“This song reminds me of when I learned to love myself again”, I’ll tell him.

And wish I could go back for just one day and soak it all in.

We have the choice to make the most of where we are at, right now.

We can take the memories from our past and use it to appreciate the now.

We have the ability to turn our pain into power.

You are here

Right now 

Embrace the present 

Acknowledge the past 

And leave it where it belongs so you can continue to grow and thrive where you are, right now.

Link to “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma”https://a.co/d/jkEfWxt

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