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Sit with your pain like it’s your friend

Making the wrong turn multiple times when I have somewhere to be brings out the worst in me. It’s bad enough it happened once but two or three more times?? You think you’d learn your lesson. Especially when you’ve been to this place many times.

Sometimes we forget though.

These wrong turns took me to an area that brings a lot of unwanted feelings. Anger, sadness, anxiety. Often enough to affect the entirety of my day.

Almost 6 months ago my therapist asked me to do some exposure therapy. And maybe if I did I wouldn’t have to try to avoid looking at the Main Street exit sign. So, he asked me what I’d be comfortable doing.

I had a thought to go get some dinner in that area. I hadn’t been over there in almost 6 months. I invited one of my best friends to go with me, one I wouldn’t feel embarrassed with if I broke down.

Lucky for her the breaking down was done on the way over;)

But we got dinner, talked about how I was feeling, got updates on each others lives and had some FIRE sushi. To top is off we drove past my old house and expressed our frustration through choice words and middle fingers;)

Short story shorter, I had a friend sit with me through my pain. She didn’t try to tell me I shouldn’t be feeling the way I did or that I should be happy. She just sat with me and it helped me feel so much better. It added light into that darkness.

6 months later and I still try to avoid that area which isn’t very tough but remember me complaining about those wrong turns I took? Those led me to that same area. UGH. Trying to push away the anxiety, trying to tell myself to not feel angry or sad, anything to help me not feel what I was feeling. Uh HELLO Kinsey didn’t you write a blog post about how your emotions and feelings are trying to tell you something!?

Listen I’m much better at giving advice than applying it to my life but I’m working on it! Every day and I’m proud of myself.

I had the thought “sit with your pain like it’s your friend” a phrase my life coach said that has changed the way I see myself. So I stopping pushing and said to myself “you know it would be really hard to be back in the area where you felt so much pain and heartache. Of course it’s not going to feel like any other town because you spent a lot of time here and you associate the most difficult time of your life with this area. It is HARD! Give yourself some love.”

Those few sentences of sitting with my pain like it was my friend significantly helped me feel better. It didn’t mean all the anxiety went away, but I was able to cope and it hardly effected the rest of my night! And I will TAKE it!

I’m working through triggers daily, I’ve done EMDR, talk therapy, exposure therapy, life coaching, I’ve done many things and it’s still a struggle! Although I 1000% recommended almost all of those things haha:) But I’ve come such a long way. I’m learning to love myself more every day and a big way to show yourself love is to sit with your pain like it’s your friend.


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